- "denouement-IPA".
denouement
/deɪˈnuːmɑ̃/
denouement
the final part of the story, tying up loose ends and providing a sense of closure to the narrative.
Cycles of life, ever in motion,
blendings of joy, pain, and devotion.
Eyes on the future, onwards I sail,
excited for music I've yet to unveil.
EXPLORE: VII. denouement
Almost the entirety of my 7th septennial was devoted to achieving and securing stability in my life, a quest driven by the severe turbulence of past years, particularly the devastating final years of my previous cycle that left me bankrupt and struggling for survival. Motivated by a firm determination to break recurring episodes of diminishing highs and expanding lows, I sidelined everything and concentrated on my new career fully. Funny enough, giving my undivided attention to a single "project" wasn't unfamiliar territory for me at all – it was actually how I typically operated. The twist this time was that the "project" in focus was achieving professional success and financial abundance.
The lengthy hours spent at the office left me with barely any leisure time or energy, making it tough to partake in additional activities, but nonetheless, I kept my DJ Elabjer persona alive, producing several new offerings every year. Right in the middle of this period, the global pandemic hit, confining me to my hotel room in Manila for a year and a half. Surprisingly, the isolation didn't slow down our work; in fact, it intensified it, and despite not having to commute, my free time didn't significantly increase. However, I did find myself gravitating back towards music, focusing mainly on the technical aspects of production.. I dedicated months to discovering and learning about the latest advancements in DAW tech, but I didn’t really get to apply new knowledge and tools in a coherent piece before I was suddenly (and w/o justification) ordered by the immigration office to leave the Philippines.
And so, I returned to my hometown in autumn of 2021, after living abroad just shy of 7 full years. I moved into a brand new apartment on the outskirts of the old city center, and having ample budget saved from years of work, I began outfiting it to my heart's desire. I got caught in the throes of "Gear Acquisition Syndrome" [GAS], amassing equipment and gadgets throughout 2022, filling every possible space, however, upon completing my "bedroom studio workshop", I realized that having all these shiny new tools at my disposal did nothing to foster my creativity; it was in fact hampering it.. previously, limited resources and the need to improvise had fueled it, and now, despite having everything I could possibly want or use, I found myself mostly uninspired, and less productive than ever.
In early 2023, I managed to shake off my GAS affliction and dove into my usual prelude of retooling, in preparation to produce new music, when I unexpectedly succumbed to illness. I suffered an ischemic stroke, although I was initially unaware of it, or its gravity. Reluctant to seek help, as my symptoms seemed minor (I had no cognitive or speech issues, just an unusual weakness in my left arm and leg, which I attributed to a "poor night's sleep"), I decided to merely wait it out, continuing with my day-to-day life. I was feeling fine and everything seemed normal, yet, one morning, a couple of weeks later, I woke up completely paralysed on my left side. Finally realizing the seriousness of my condition, I admitted myself to the general hospital in Celje for urgent care.
After spending a depressing week in the hospital, unable to walk or use my left arm, my recovery prospects were cloudy and uncertain. The doctors couldn't pinpoint the cause; every test returned normal results, leaving me without answers or a clear path forward, and my anxiety about what the future held started growing. I returned home, facing abundant everyday challenges; walking, even very short distances, became a huge ordeal, and I had to rely solely on my right hand for daily activities. Luckily, despite these physical limitations, my cognitive abilities remained sharp, as good as ever, allowing me to continue my work (almost) as usual. Months passed and although I began to regain some of my former capabilities, I increasingly felt I was falling behind, not recovering as quickly as I should be. Finally conceding I won't be able to simply go on as before and passively await my recovery, I focused on a new whole-consuming endavour: "Project Rehabilitation".
A turning point came mid-summer when Indonesia announced it was lifting its entry restrictions, presenting me with the opportunity to return to Bali after an absence of three and a half years. The chance to return to a place that felt like a second home was especially significant in the wake of a profound personal loss: early in the pandemic, my soulmate, Winda, suddenly and unexpectedly succumbed to cancer. Her condition came to light at a time when the whole world was in lockdown, preventing me to be by her side in her final months. Her untimely passing left me with an enduring sense of loss, especially since I wasn't even able to visit her final resting place and leave a few parting words. The reopening of Bali promised a semblance of solace and a chance for closure, so I bought a ticket immediately.
Initially, my plan was to stay for only a few weeks, a month at most, as I was still very unsure about the stability of my health. Yet, just within a week after arrival, it became evident that this move was precisely what I needed. In the following couple of months my health and well-being improved tremendously, far surpassing progress made in the preceeding six months. Encouraged, I chose to fully undergo "Project Rehabilitation" in Bali, staying as long as needed. I developed a new, more active way of life for myself, breaking decades-long habit of sitting behind my computer all day, every day. Soon I began feeling at former strength again, slowly even surpassing it. At the end of 2023 post-stroke echoes already faded substantially, and I began engaging with music wholeheartedly again, leading to the events that culminated in the conception and production of Triseptennial.
While this epoch can be considered mostly barren in terms of new original music (there's one notable exception that came about during the pandemic - 40 (Karantena) [YouTube embed] - although I consider it just a joke, a playful experiment brought about after spending half a year in forced quarantine), it all led, like it was meticulously orchestrated, to the creation of Triseptennial, which is probably my most significant undertaking to date. In light of everything I consider my 7th septennial's spirit to be "renovatio" - it was the epoch of atonement, rectification, renewal, and intense retrospection.
Now, at the cusp of my 8th septennial, I gaze back through the concerto of years and see I've been composing the score of my life without even realizing it. Each cycle, a series of spontaneously strung phrases, has been leading me to the present chord - a man reflective of his journey, appreciative of every of every high, every low, and every rest that has brought me here. And while the album of my life is far from its final note, I find excitement in the anticipation of what the downbeat of the next cycle will unfold..
There'll be new vistas, and hardships, for sure, but I'm setting sail, and going onwards into the unknown, boldly! After coming home from the hospital, I spent the first few months mostly confined to bed because I couldn’t walk. During that time, what consumed me most was.. regret. Regret, that I had focused so much on accumulating resources that I forgot to truly live. Although I had built up substantial savings, it meant little except to provide financial security while I waited and hoped for recovery.
What resonated with me most during that difficult period, and what I urge you to consider and embrace, is: "Years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Thank you for your attention.
Sincerely,
Ali Dvoršak ibn Elabjer.
